My husband is a wonderful guy. But, his wonderfulness doesn't usually extend to doing laundry. And I'm fine with that. He lets his clothes pile up on his side of the bed, and I ignore them. Or at least I try to, until they trip me while I'm making the bed and start to suck me into their swaths-vortex. When he runs out of things to wear, he will start one load of laundry. And then he'll let it sit there in the washer until I move it to the dryer, fold it, and leave it in a nice neat pile on the bed for him to put away. (Which he normally doesn't. They just end up on the floor, back on his side of the bed.
He does this for two reasons. First, he thinks he is pretty tricky. He knows I wont pick his clothes up and put them away for him, but he secretly believes that he is tricking me into folding his clothes for him What he doesn't know is that I would happily wash and dry and fold his clothes, if he just put them in the hamper.
Secondly, he believes that I will destroy all his clothes. This comes from a couple of unfortunate laundry accidents during our first year of marriage, NINE years ago. But I still can't live it down.
So, yesterday he decided the pile of clothes had gotten large enough to warrant starting a load in the washer. Kindly, he moved the recently washed load I had already started, to the dryer, and started it.
I was so impressed all day long, that he continued to move clothes from the washer to the dryer, and continue to keep the laundry moving for the whole family. At least, that's what I thought each time I walked past the laundry room and heard the soft hum of the dryer.
It was 10 pm when I realized that the dryer was still going, and there wasn't any clean laundry yet.
"Baby, when did you start the dryer?" I asked, glancing at the odd drying setting the dryer was on.
"Ummmm, I guess it was about 11 am this morning. Why?"
I gasped as I ripped the door open, and discovered that Lilly now has a wonderful new wardrobe! Because 11 hours of drying left my clothes, well, um, to scandalous for me to wear! The Entertainer also inherited a whole new wardrobe from his big brothers. And the new jeans I've been waiting to buy just went from a desire to a necessity. The saddest part was that my skinny pants, the ones that finally fit for the first time in FOUR years, were in that load. Lilly will look FANTASTIC in them when she starts kindergarten. sighhh.
But on the upside, I guess he can't complain about a couple of shirts that shrunk and a pair of undies that turned pink NINE years ago anymore.
(And maybe publicly outing the pile on his side of the bed will be the motivation he needs to start using the hamper he forced me to buy for his clothes...)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Summer Time...
Summer got you feeling a little frazzled? (Ooh, ooh, if I had enough energy, I'd raise my hand...)
Well, I've figured out that there are two ways to make it through busy, fun days of entertaining 4 happy, active, well rounded children... (err, I mean there are 2 ways to survive raising 4 wild monkeys!)
#1, Get everyone on a well-rounded scedual, that is balanced with reading, practicing math facts, exploring "big" ideas, and fun out-door activities. It should include a rest time, when each child is simotaniously tucked into their little beds. Older children can listen to a great piece of lititure on tape, while little ones can sweetly dream of the fun activities the day still holds. And you are able to quietly put your feet up, and sip some cool lemonaid while leafing through your favorite magazine.
#2, Turn on Sponge Bob, brew yourself a giant mug of expresso, and pass out on the floor while you wait for it to take effect, letting your kids climb all over you like a jungle gym...
Aaah!! I gotta run. Sponge Bob is about to start, and my hot-water is ready...
Good luck! H
Well, I've figured out that there are two ways to make it through busy, fun days of entertaining 4 happy, active, well rounded children... (err, I mean there are 2 ways to survive raising 4 wild monkeys!)
#1, Get everyone on a well-rounded scedual, that is balanced with reading, practicing math facts, exploring "big" ideas, and fun out-door activities. It should include a rest time, when each child is simotaniously tucked into their little beds. Older children can listen to a great piece of lititure on tape, while little ones can sweetly dream of the fun activities the day still holds. And you are able to quietly put your feet up, and sip some cool lemonaid while leafing through your favorite magazine.
#2, Turn on Sponge Bob, brew yourself a giant mug of expresso, and pass out on the floor while you wait for it to take effect, letting your kids climb all over you like a jungle gym...
Aaah!! I gotta run. Sponge Bob is about to start, and my hot-water is ready...
Good luck! H
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Silence
Today I started thinking about all the different types of silence:
Prolonged silence
Agonizing silence
Ominous silence
Deafening silence
Sweet silence
Perfect silence
Persistent silence
Allusive silence
Awkward silence
Heavy silence
Mandated silence
Eerie silence
Unpredictable silence
Customary silence
Relentless silence
Unremarkable silence
Deathly silence
Aggrivating silence
Uncharacteristic silence
Overwhelming silence.
What's the most remarkable, is that we hear nothing so differently.
(For my compleate list, keep reading...)
There is prolonged silence, agonizing silence, destructive silence, determined silence, devious silence, ominous silence, deafening silence, sweet silence, perfect silence, persistent silence, and preoccupied silence.
Silence can also be delayed, utter, total, complete, antagonistic, persuasive, allusive, leading, fishing, breathtaking, and flabbergasted.
It can be uncertain, encompassing, choking, heart-stopping, fearful, awkward, hurtful, evasive, heavy, historical, deliberate, petrifying, mandated, or presumptuous.
It can be painstaking, eerie, contemplative, unpredictable, hostile, or customary.
There is relentless, continuous, dumbfounded, pneumatic, echoed, unremarkable, impenetrable, lasting, deathly, baseless, unjustifiable, deliberate, and agreeable silence.
There is forced, heavy, arbitrary, calculated, explosive, aggravating, embellished, empowering, oppressive, impressive, courteous accommodating, or conditional.
It can be contractual, looming, compulsive, aggravating, intense, unprecedented, uncharacteristic, unencumbered, incremental, controversial, earnest, effective, emerging, diminished, undeniable, collaborative, irrelevant, passive, tangible, hostile, or tense.
Prolonged silence
Agonizing silence
Ominous silence
Deafening silence
Sweet silence
Perfect silence
Persistent silence
Allusive silence
Awkward silence
Heavy silence
Mandated silence
Eerie silence
Unpredictable silence
Customary silence
Relentless silence
Unremarkable silence
Deathly silence
Aggrivating silence
Uncharacteristic silence
Overwhelming silence.
What's the most remarkable, is that we hear nothing so differently.
(For my compleate list, keep reading...)
There is prolonged silence, agonizing silence, destructive silence, determined silence, devious silence, ominous silence, deafening silence, sweet silence, perfect silence, persistent silence, and preoccupied silence.
Silence can also be delayed, utter, total, complete, antagonistic, persuasive, allusive, leading, fishing, breathtaking, and flabbergasted.
It can be uncertain, encompassing, choking, heart-stopping, fearful, awkward, hurtful, evasive, heavy, historical, deliberate, petrifying, mandated, or presumptuous.
It can be painstaking, eerie, contemplative, unpredictable, hostile, or customary.
There is relentless, continuous, dumbfounded, pneumatic, echoed, unremarkable, impenetrable, lasting, deathly, baseless, unjustifiable, deliberate, and agreeable silence.
There is forced, heavy, arbitrary, calculated, explosive, aggravating, embellished, empowering, oppressive, impressive, courteous accommodating, or conditional.
It can be contractual, looming, compulsive, aggravating, intense, unprecedented, uncharacteristic, unencumbered, incremental, controversial, earnest, effective, emerging, diminished, undeniable, collaborative, irrelevant, passive, tangible, hostile, or tense.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Issue #4,763
Some of our dear friends in New Mexico decided that when it came to the discussion of "boy parts" with their little boys, they would use the anatomically correct terminology.
Well, their boys translated the official terminology into the term "peanuts," and the phrase stuck.
So when my very impressionable, highly linguistic 18 moth old son heard the term, he decided that it was his phrase of choice for the all-important boy-part discussions that somehow seem to come up every single day in our house.
So you can imagine the confusion that ensued when someone gave us a "Curious George Visits the Zoo" last year. In this book, The Man with the Yellow Hat buys George a bag of peanuts. George then goes on to feed the peanuts to the lions, and the giraffes, and the seals, until the zoo keeper freaks out and tells George to stop giving his peanuts to the animals. Poor George is sitting on the bench feeling very badly, until the missing zoo-bird swoops down and snatches the peanut George was holding, right out of his hands. In the end, George and his peanuts save the day.
The Entertainer has always had a funny look on his face when we read that book. But here's the worst part: I didn't even make the connection until TODAY.
We were sitting at lunch eating our peanut butter sandwiches, when the Entertainer asks, "Mommy, will I eat peanuts when I go to the zoo?"
"Sure buddy," I mindlessly respond.
"Really?" He asks. I glance up to see that his face is lost in bewilderment.
And that is when I realize that for the last year and a half, I have been giving my youngest son "issues".
I can just immagine the conversation with his therapist in 20 years. "Well my mother always read me this book about Curious George and his peanuts, only I thought she was saying penis..."
Good golly, what will happen when his first grade class takes a field-trip to the zoo for the first time? (Mental note, I better make sure to chaperon on that one... )
Oh the issues are going to run deep! My poor scarred boy, I am giving this post a number, so that you can easily pull it up when you start therapy, to work through you "peanut" issues.
Oy. It's a miracle they survive at all.
Ahh! I just had a horrible thought!!!
What does he think peanut butter sandwiches are made out of?!?!
Well, their boys translated the official terminology into the term "peanuts," and the phrase stuck.
So when my very impressionable, highly linguistic 18 moth old son heard the term, he decided that it was his phrase of choice for the all-important boy-part discussions that somehow seem to come up every single day in our house.
So you can imagine the confusion that ensued when someone gave us a "Curious George Visits the Zoo" last year. In this book, The Man with the Yellow Hat buys George a bag of peanuts. George then goes on to feed the peanuts to the lions, and the giraffes, and the seals, until the zoo keeper freaks out and tells George to stop giving his peanuts to the animals. Poor George is sitting on the bench feeling very badly, until the missing zoo-bird swoops down and snatches the peanut George was holding, right out of his hands. In the end, George and his peanuts save the day.
The Entertainer has always had a funny look on his face when we read that book. But here's the worst part: I didn't even make the connection until TODAY.
We were sitting at lunch eating our peanut butter sandwiches, when the Entertainer asks, "Mommy, will I eat peanuts when I go to the zoo?"
"Sure buddy," I mindlessly respond.
"Really?" He asks. I glance up to see that his face is lost in bewilderment.
And that is when I realize that for the last year and a half, I have been giving my youngest son "issues".
I can just immagine the conversation with his therapist in 20 years. "Well my mother always read me this book about Curious George and his peanuts, only I thought she was saying penis..."
Good golly, what will happen when his first grade class takes a field-trip to the zoo for the first time? (Mental note, I better make sure to chaperon on that one... )
Oh the issues are going to run deep! My poor scarred boy, I am giving this post a number, so that you can easily pull it up when you start therapy, to work through you "peanut" issues.
Oy. It's a miracle they survive at all.
Ahh! I just had a horrible thought!!!
What does he think peanut butter sandwiches are made out of?!?!
Thursday, June 4, 2009
War
Last weekend, Brandon rented "Bride Wars" for me. He is so sweet- but I do think that it is funny that when he picks up a chick flick for me, it is usually the MOST estrogen-laden/crazy woman logic movie available. And then he rolls his eyes all the way through it.
But this movie deserved it. If you haven't seen Bride Wars, don't bother. Save your money. Save your time. Save your marriage. It was so bad, that I dreamed I was fighting with my husband while I slept that night.
It was so bad that even Lifetime won't be airing it- they passed it off to the The Victims Network (AKA Oxygen.)
Anyways, the Adventurer asks the next day, "Mommy, how was your movie?"
"Ugg. It was AWFUL!" I reply.
He pauses to think. "Mommy, is Bride Wars like Star Wars, only with girls?"
I start laughing uncontrollably. "Ya, pretty much, but worse. In fact, I'd rather watch Star Wars 100 times instead of watching Bride Wars once. And I don't even like Star Wars!" (At all. I REALLY don't like Star Wars. I wont say "hate" because I HATE Bride Wars. And my distaste for Star Wars isn't remotely in the same category...)
He replies, "Ohhhhh. I see. That's why it was so bad!"
Insightful for a 5-year old. Maybe he'll be a judge yet.
(P.S., he clarified that he thought Obama is the Judge of the United States. When I told him no, that he was the president, he replied, "Oh. I want to be the Judge of the United States. The Entertainer can be president still." And then the Captain piped up and said that he still wants to be a police man, but that he won't give me any tickets for driving to fast in school zones. Sweet kids, I tell ya!)
But this movie deserved it. If you haven't seen Bride Wars, don't bother. Save your money. Save your time. Save your marriage. It was so bad, that I dreamed I was fighting with my husband while I slept that night.
It was so bad that even Lifetime won't be airing it- they passed it off to the The Victims Network (AKA Oxygen.)
Anyways, the Adventurer asks the next day, "Mommy, how was your movie?"
"Ugg. It was AWFUL!" I reply.
He pauses to think. "Mommy, is Bride Wars like Star Wars, only with girls?"
I start laughing uncontrollably. "Ya, pretty much, but worse. In fact, I'd rather watch Star Wars 100 times instead of watching Bride Wars once. And I don't even like Star Wars!" (At all. I REALLY don't like Star Wars. I wont say "hate" because I HATE Bride Wars. And my distaste for Star Wars isn't remotely in the same category...)
He replies, "Ohhhhh. I see. That's why it was so bad!"
Insightful for a 5-year old. Maybe he'll be a judge yet.
(P.S., he clarified that he thought Obama is the Judge of the United States. When I told him no, that he was the president, he replied, "Oh. I want to be the Judge of the United States. The Entertainer can be president still." And then the Captain piped up and said that he still wants to be a police man, but that he won't give me any tickets for driving to fast in school zones. Sweet kids, I tell ya!)
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Sanity Wears Off
Last weekend, I got a call from Kristi, informing me that Girl's Night was coming up. Unfortunately, it was the same night that I was working until 11 pm.
But the idea of having some girl-time sounded like fun, so I threw back an energy drink, and spent about an hour and a half with some good friends.
I got home at about 1 am. I was just falling asleep when Lilly woke up to eat. An hour later, she was back in bed, and I was just falling asleep when the Adventurer woke up with a horrible cough. Some medicine, a drink of water, the humidifier, and a hot-water bottle later, I checked the clock and discovered that it was now 3 am.
I fell into bed, goaning about how tired I would be in 3 and a half hours.
But the next morning, the most horifing thing happened.
I didn't feel any different from any other day.
I think that is when I realized: I have been perpetually exhausted for the last 6 years.
No wonder I started throwing back Rock Star energy drinks when the Adventurer was about one. (It was really hard to get off the juice when we decided to try for the Entertainer. It's Liquid Speed, I tell ya, and I LOVE it!) But alas, the exhaustion has been a part of my life for so long, I am dismayed to realize that I have begun to think it is normal... Turns out you don't get less tiered with more kids, you just get crazier.
Disclaimer #1: I've never actually taken speed. But, as the side effects include weight loss and a lot of energy, I do wonder why it is illegal...
Disclaimer #2: I think that originally this blog post had a point, but given that I have now realized the extent of my perpetual exhaustion, I forgot where I was going with it, and I'm just giving into the crushing haze that is telling me I should probably go to bed.
I will return when the energy drink high kicks back in... (insert crazy-woman laugh! Mmmmwaahahaha!)
But the idea of having some girl-time sounded like fun, so I threw back an energy drink, and spent about an hour and a half with some good friends.
I got home at about 1 am. I was just falling asleep when Lilly woke up to eat. An hour later, she was back in bed, and I was just falling asleep when the Adventurer woke up with a horrible cough. Some medicine, a drink of water, the humidifier, and a hot-water bottle later, I checked the clock and discovered that it was now 3 am.
I fell into bed, goaning about how tired I would be in 3 and a half hours.
But the next morning, the most horifing thing happened.
I didn't feel any different from any other day.
I think that is when I realized: I have been perpetually exhausted for the last 6 years.
No wonder I started throwing back Rock Star energy drinks when the Adventurer was about one. (It was really hard to get off the juice when we decided to try for the Entertainer. It's Liquid Speed, I tell ya, and I LOVE it!) But alas, the exhaustion has been a part of my life for so long, I am dismayed to realize that I have begun to think it is normal... Turns out you don't get less tiered with more kids, you just get crazier.
Disclaimer #1: I've never actually taken speed. But, as the side effects include weight loss and a lot of energy, I do wonder why it is illegal...
Disclaimer #2: I think that originally this blog post had a point, but given that I have now realized the extent of my perpetual exhaustion, I forgot where I was going with it, and I'm just giving into the crushing haze that is telling me I should probably go to bed.
I will return when the energy drink high kicks back in... (insert crazy-woman laugh! Mmmmwaahahaha!)
Monday, June 1, 2009
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