Last week we went to the library. Now I know for some moms this is no biggy.
Not for me though.
I'd rather go to....
wait for it...
the post office with all 4 kids, than the library.
Something about trying to keep kids, (1,3,5,7) quiet and close to me, while simultaneously trying to keep an eye out for all those sex-offenders posted in the front hall, while trying to pick out books, while also putting back all the books my kids are pulling off the shelves. Just in case you are tired like me and you haven't had time to do the math, 4 kids= 8 arms, and let me tell you, an octopus would do less touching in a library than my curious-Georges do. And did I mention the whole quiet part?
Anyways, we needed to return some almost-due library books, and after the $40 late charge I got slapped with last time, I wasn't taking any chances.
So, we picked our books, checked them out, and made it out of that place in record time.
On our way out, a man was just setting up a table. He asked me, "ma'am, would you like to sign my petition?"
Now, I should have known that anyone who asks a woman with a wiggly one-year-old in one arm, and 10 Junnie B. Jones books in the other, who is trying to use one foot to corral a 3-year old from walking into the road, and the other to stay upright, to sign a petition... well, I should have realized that he just might not be "all there."
Normally I walk past and shake my head. But I thought, "this will be a good lesson in civics."
So I asked, "What is it for?"
He got excited. "It's for gerrymandering and unfair voting practices! Here you go, sign it!"
"Well," I said, "What is gerrymandering?"
"It's unfair voting practices, here, sign it." He briskly tries to pass the pen to me- unsuccessfully looking for my third arm. A group of high school girls pass; he is flustered that I am costing him more signatures.
"Why are they unfair?" I ask. I know my boys are going to have 1,000 questions in the car.
"Because of the land owners- and the district splits, they let the people with the power keep the power, and we need the power for the people, and it's gerrymandering!"
"Hmmm, but what is gerrymandering?"
"It's unfair voting practices!" He is flabbergasted that he's had to tell me three times now.
"I guess I'm just not understanding why they are unfair. What specifically are you hoping to gain through this petition?"
"We need to get rid of gerrymandering! Here," he says wildly waving the pen in my face, "sign it."
"I'm sorry, I just can't sign something that I don't understand," I say.
By now he is VERY exasperated. "Why not? I signed it! It's not like it's a big deal. No one even-" he stops short of finishing the rest of his sentence. I'm guessing it was "even cares about these petitions." Instead his mouth clamps shut as we walk away.
It ended up being a different sort of lesson in civics, I guess. But it did make me want to start asking a lot more questions...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Dunked
Soooo... it turns out cell phones don't get reception after they have been dunked into luke-warm coffee that mommy ends up drinking anyway because she REALLY needs the caffeine...
T-Mobile should really come out with the "Mom Phone." The slogan could be "The Mom Phone: It'll survive your kids, so that you can too."
Call me. It's for sale for the right price.
OH WAIT!
You can't.
Turns out phones don't go as good with coffee as donuts do.
T-Mobile should really come out with the "Mom Phone." The slogan could be "The Mom Phone: It'll survive your kids, so that you can too."
Call me. It's for sale for the right price.
OH WAIT!
You can't.
Turns out phones don't go as good with coffee as donuts do.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I'm Shrinking!
My husband is a wonderful guy. But, his wonderfulness doesn't usually extend to doing laundry. And I'm fine with that. He lets his clothes pile up on his side of the bed, and I ignore them. Or at least I try to, until they trip me while I'm making the bed and start to suck me into their swaths-vortex. When he runs out of things to wear, he will start one load of laundry. And then he'll let it sit there in the washer until I move it to the dryer, fold it, and leave it in a nice neat pile on the bed for him to put away. (Which he normally doesn't. They just end up on the floor, back on his side of the bed.
He does this for two reasons. First, he thinks he is pretty tricky. He knows I wont pick his clothes up and put them away for him, but he secretly believes that he is tricking me into folding his clothes for him What he doesn't know is that I would happily wash and dry and fold his clothes, if he just put them in the hamper.
Secondly, he believes that I will destroy all his clothes. This comes from a couple of unfortunate laundry accidents during our first year of marriage, NINE years ago. But I still can't live it down.
So, yesterday he decided the pile of clothes had gotten large enough to warrant starting a load in the washer. Kindly, he moved the recently washed load I had already started, to the dryer, and started it.
I was so impressed all day long, that he continued to move clothes from the washer to the dryer, and continue to keep the laundry moving for the whole family. At least, that's what I thought each time I walked past the laundry room and heard the soft hum of the dryer.
It was 10 pm when I realized that the dryer was still going, and there wasn't any clean laundry yet.
"Baby, when did you start the dryer?" I asked, glancing at the odd drying setting the dryer was on.
"Ummmm, I guess it was about 11 am this morning. Why?"
I gasped as I ripped the door open, and discovered that Lilly now has a wonderful new wardrobe! Because 11 hours of drying left my clothes, well, um, to scandalous for me to wear! The Entertainer also inherited a whole new wardrobe from his big brothers. And the new jeans I've been waiting to buy just went from a desire to a necessity. The saddest part was that my skinny pants, the ones that finally fit for the first time in FOUR years, were in that load. Lilly will look FANTASTIC in them when she starts kindergarten. sighhh.
But on the upside, I guess he can't complain about a couple of shirts that shrunk and a pair of undies that turned pink NINE years ago anymore.
(And maybe publicly outing the pile on his side of the bed will be the motivation he needs to start using the hamper he forced me to buy for his clothes...)
He does this for two reasons. First, he thinks he is pretty tricky. He knows I wont pick his clothes up and put them away for him, but he secretly believes that he is tricking me into folding his clothes for him What he doesn't know is that I would happily wash and dry and fold his clothes, if he just put them in the hamper.
Secondly, he believes that I will destroy all his clothes. This comes from a couple of unfortunate laundry accidents during our first year of marriage, NINE years ago. But I still can't live it down.
So, yesterday he decided the pile of clothes had gotten large enough to warrant starting a load in the washer. Kindly, he moved the recently washed load I had already started, to the dryer, and started it.
I was so impressed all day long, that he continued to move clothes from the washer to the dryer, and continue to keep the laundry moving for the whole family. At least, that's what I thought each time I walked past the laundry room and heard the soft hum of the dryer.
It was 10 pm when I realized that the dryer was still going, and there wasn't any clean laundry yet.
"Baby, when did you start the dryer?" I asked, glancing at the odd drying setting the dryer was on.
"Ummmm, I guess it was about 11 am this morning. Why?"
I gasped as I ripped the door open, and discovered that Lilly now has a wonderful new wardrobe! Because 11 hours of drying left my clothes, well, um, to scandalous for me to wear! The Entertainer also inherited a whole new wardrobe from his big brothers. And the new jeans I've been waiting to buy just went from a desire to a necessity. The saddest part was that my skinny pants, the ones that finally fit for the first time in FOUR years, were in that load. Lilly will look FANTASTIC in them when she starts kindergarten. sighhh.
But on the upside, I guess he can't complain about a couple of shirts that shrunk and a pair of undies that turned pink NINE years ago anymore.
(And maybe publicly outing the pile on his side of the bed will be the motivation he needs to start using the hamper he forced me to buy for his clothes...)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Summer Time...
Summer got you feeling a little frazzled? (Ooh, ooh, if I had enough energy, I'd raise my hand...)
Well, I've figured out that there are two ways to make it through busy, fun days of entertaining 4 happy, active, well rounded children... (err, I mean there are 2 ways to survive raising 4 wild monkeys!)
#1, Get everyone on a well-rounded scedual, that is balanced with reading, practicing math facts, exploring "big" ideas, and fun out-door activities. It should include a rest time, when each child is simotaniously tucked into their little beds. Older children can listen to a great piece of lititure on tape, while little ones can sweetly dream of the fun activities the day still holds. And you are able to quietly put your feet up, and sip some cool lemonaid while leafing through your favorite magazine.
#2, Turn on Sponge Bob, brew yourself a giant mug of expresso, and pass out on the floor while you wait for it to take effect, letting your kids climb all over you like a jungle gym...
Aaah!! I gotta run. Sponge Bob is about to start, and my hot-water is ready...
Good luck! H
Well, I've figured out that there are two ways to make it through busy, fun days of entertaining 4 happy, active, well rounded children... (err, I mean there are 2 ways to survive raising 4 wild monkeys!)
#1, Get everyone on a well-rounded scedual, that is balanced with reading, practicing math facts, exploring "big" ideas, and fun out-door activities. It should include a rest time, when each child is simotaniously tucked into their little beds. Older children can listen to a great piece of lititure on tape, while little ones can sweetly dream of the fun activities the day still holds. And you are able to quietly put your feet up, and sip some cool lemonaid while leafing through your favorite magazine.
#2, Turn on Sponge Bob, brew yourself a giant mug of expresso, and pass out on the floor while you wait for it to take effect, letting your kids climb all over you like a jungle gym...
Aaah!! I gotta run. Sponge Bob is about to start, and my hot-water is ready...
Good luck! H
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Silence
Today I started thinking about all the different types of silence:
Prolonged silence
Agonizing silence
Ominous silence
Deafening silence
Sweet silence
Perfect silence
Persistent silence
Allusive silence
Awkward silence
Heavy silence
Mandated silence
Eerie silence
Unpredictable silence
Customary silence
Relentless silence
Unremarkable silence
Deathly silence
Aggrivating silence
Uncharacteristic silence
Overwhelming silence.
What's the most remarkable, is that we hear nothing so differently.
(For my compleate list, keep reading...)
There is prolonged silence, agonizing silence, destructive silence, determined silence, devious silence, ominous silence, deafening silence, sweet silence, perfect silence, persistent silence, and preoccupied silence.
Silence can also be delayed, utter, total, complete, antagonistic, persuasive, allusive, leading, fishing, breathtaking, and flabbergasted.
It can be uncertain, encompassing, choking, heart-stopping, fearful, awkward, hurtful, evasive, heavy, historical, deliberate, petrifying, mandated, or presumptuous.
It can be painstaking, eerie, contemplative, unpredictable, hostile, or customary.
There is relentless, continuous, dumbfounded, pneumatic, echoed, unremarkable, impenetrable, lasting, deathly, baseless, unjustifiable, deliberate, and agreeable silence.
There is forced, heavy, arbitrary, calculated, explosive, aggravating, embellished, empowering, oppressive, impressive, courteous accommodating, or conditional.
It can be contractual, looming, compulsive, aggravating, intense, unprecedented, uncharacteristic, unencumbered, incremental, controversial, earnest, effective, emerging, diminished, undeniable, collaborative, irrelevant, passive, tangible, hostile, or tense.
Prolonged silence
Agonizing silence
Ominous silence
Deafening silence
Sweet silence
Perfect silence
Persistent silence
Allusive silence
Awkward silence
Heavy silence
Mandated silence
Eerie silence
Unpredictable silence
Customary silence
Relentless silence
Unremarkable silence
Deathly silence
Aggrivating silence
Uncharacteristic silence
Overwhelming silence.
What's the most remarkable, is that we hear nothing so differently.
(For my compleate list, keep reading...)
There is prolonged silence, agonizing silence, destructive silence, determined silence, devious silence, ominous silence, deafening silence, sweet silence, perfect silence, persistent silence, and preoccupied silence.
Silence can also be delayed, utter, total, complete, antagonistic, persuasive, allusive, leading, fishing, breathtaking, and flabbergasted.
It can be uncertain, encompassing, choking, heart-stopping, fearful, awkward, hurtful, evasive, heavy, historical, deliberate, petrifying, mandated, or presumptuous.
It can be painstaking, eerie, contemplative, unpredictable, hostile, or customary.
There is relentless, continuous, dumbfounded, pneumatic, echoed, unremarkable, impenetrable, lasting, deathly, baseless, unjustifiable, deliberate, and agreeable silence.
There is forced, heavy, arbitrary, calculated, explosive, aggravating, embellished, empowering, oppressive, impressive, courteous accommodating, or conditional.
It can be contractual, looming, compulsive, aggravating, intense, unprecedented, uncharacteristic, unencumbered, incremental, controversial, earnest, effective, emerging, diminished, undeniable, collaborative, irrelevant, passive, tangible, hostile, or tense.
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