Raising Social Retards

One of our favorite places to go in the summer time is the YMCA. I can work out, the kids can go to their classes, and then we can all go swimming. We all go home happy and tired and tan.

It's a genius idea; Mom can run off her stress, or sit quietly in the lounge and read a book (I wont lie, I've done it before!), and she gets the much needed stress relief and quiet that can make all the difference in a day.

Enough background. Here's the main part of my story:

Last week we went the the Y. I took my kids to their classes, full of fun activities and active things for them to do. (FYI, I did the elliptical the whole time we were there. I did not sit in the lobby and read that particular day...) I passed two boys, obviously brothers, sitting in the lounge, playing their DS's.

Here's what struck me:

1. They were completely unengaged with anyone or anything around them; they looked like zombies.
2. They were fat.

My rational thought, "well, it's normal for electronic games to engross kids, and I can see that these two kids must play a lot of games, because active 9 and 10 year-olds are not usually fat..."

BUT WE WERE AT THE GYM... where OBVIOUSLY one of their parents cared about their own fitness and health, otherwise why were they there? (Insert expletive of choice here.) What the heck?!?!?! I realize we all have different body types, I realize kids all have different interests. But REALLY? Shouldn't that count as borderline abuse, and at the very least, serious neglect?

Fit mom + fat kids is just sick and wrong.

45 minutes later, I picked up my boys from there class, where they were chasing each other on those cool floor scooter things; and the other two brothers were still there, dead to the world around them.

What kind of a generation are we raising? It's going to be one hell of a wake up call when so many kids in this generation graduate high school and mom and dad say, "OK, go get a job!" and they walk into the work world without any communication skills and any since of real responsibility.

So many parents in my generation are raising children who I fear will become socially retarded. Not because they are not bright children, but because their world has shrunk into an isolated virtual reality. These children are not prepared to lead business meetings, they are not prepared to navigate a complex work place with an intricate social structure that is entirely dependant upon the ability to communicate well. Much less trying to maintain any sort of meaningful personal relationships.

And so I drive from errand to errand, from school and to work, from baseball to Judo, not unaware of the fact that if my 4 children each had their own personal gaming system, there would be fewer disputes. They would each be quietly zoned out in their own alternate reality, and they would be quiet. But they wouldn't be telling stories. And they wouldn't be asking questions. And they wouldn't be playing games and taking in the world outside their windows. They wouldn't find a good book to read. They wouldn't be fighting and arguing. They wouldn't be working out the complexities of communication, of listening, of obeying, of consequences.

I would be trading their growth into meaningful humanity for a couple minutes of quiet.

Soon enough they will be grown and busy with their own lives, and then my home and my car will be quiet indeed. And I will be proud of the men and woman they will have become.