Jail Ponderings

Not to long ago, I heard a news report that a higher and higher percentage of women in jail are mothers. At first, I was shocked. How could a mother do something so awful that it landed her in jail?!? And then I started to think about it...

In jail, you don't have to do any laundry.

In jail, you never have to cook for picky eaters. In fact, your food is prepared for you, and you get to eat it while it is still hot!

In jail you get to sleep through the night. There are no babies, bad dreams, or random vomiting incidents to wake you up.

In jail you can watch an entire television episode uninterrupted.

In jail you can read a book. Not an 8 page kids book, no there is time to read a REAL book.

In jail you can take a shower every day.

In jail you can close the half door when you go to the bathroom.

In fact the more I thought about it, the more fun jail began to sound. So when I got pulled over by those crazy cops last week, there was a thought that flashed through my mind for a split second: if I just kept driving, and I led the police on a low-speed chase, I wonder if I could get sent to jail for a long weekend...?

My mom could pick up the kids, I could tell Brandon not to post bond until Monday, I could ask the judge to prolong my sentence a little.

And that is when I came up with a great idea: Voluntary Jail.

The add campaign could be that Gieco voice-over guy: "Feeling a little frazzled? Need some time off from being a mom? Come stay at jail for the weekend. Enjoy three days of hot meals, no laundry, peeing in semi-privacy... all at the state's expense."

I bet it would diminish mothers in jail for real crimes by 82%, because my secret suspicion is that they just need a break.